The Filler : Dating Advice # 104

While dating or getting to know someone, it is easy to get caught up in the attraction and attention you're getting from the other person. Pay close attention to the time that you're given. Are you really the love interest or are you The Filler. The Filler is the person that's used to occupy some sort of time or emotional need. The intention is to never truly get serious with this person. Not to say that they don't like you; they might. And the attraction may very well be there, but not to the extent that you want. We have all been the Filler at some point in time, and if not then, you might be now.

I once dated this guy and there was a strong attraction and connection. In the beginning we would hold deep discussions and go on dates. But, it seemed like the closer we got, the more distant we became. The dates stopped and the phone calls became less and less. When we did talk, he would always have some major crisis in his life or some uncomplicated, too complicated for him situation, that he needed to talk to me about. Now, the logical mind is thinking that he knows who's his confidante and he trusts and respects me enough to come to for consoling and encouragement. That shit was far from the truth. I was the Filler. The person who was taking care of his emotional needs. Right after he would get a boost of confidence, he would disappear again. And come right back again when he needed someone to talk life strategies with. I quickly realized that I had become a free counselor, psychiatrist, and motivational speaker to this man. This is when the God in me clashed with the real life spirit. You want to be a good person and be there for others but you don't want to be a fool either. Needless to say, I had to shut down my feelings and this relationship. He was using me as a person fill his mental needs, because what I later found out is that someone else was filling the physical needs. And I wouldn't have found that out if it wasn't for InstaGRAM. So thanks, GRAM for allowing me to see the newborn baby pics.(SHADE) You live and you learn right?

Moral of the story: Always pay attention to what you are receiving out of the situation. If all you're doing is giving of yourself, and getting the bare minimum. The bare minimum is all that you will receive. When you start to feel as if you're only occupying some time in that person's life then it's time to for you to move around. Give that time to someone worthy of it.