Ask Foxx: Putting You Up on Game

People always ask, how can you give dating advice, being that you're single? Well, it's plain and simple. I am in the thick of it with you all. I would not ask a married person about dating. There's no particular way or place to meet THE ONE. One must first learn who they are. I always advise my friends after they break up with someone to take time to get to know who they are. What was it about that person that most attracted you and also turned you off? What is the common pattern between all of the people that you find yourself attracted to? Chile I could go deeper into the questioning but let me get to the lesson at hand. I was asked a while back by a Facebook friend, "What are the top 5 things should a person ask when they start dating someone?" My response to that is that there is no set limit on what one should ask. Or even if one should ask at all. Sometimes the signs are more obvious than you know. Here are just a few tips to dating in 2016.

Observe the Approach or Introduction

The way that a person approached you tell you a lot of what they thinks of you.

Scenario 1: Hey lil mama, let me holla at you!

This tells me that he thinks you look good but he also thinks you're easy. He figures it wont take much to get your attention. Predator and prey situation in the making.

Scenario 2: Hi , I hope I'm not intruding but you look nice and I'd like to get to know you. This means that he respects you as a woman and is giving you the option of speaking. More than likely you will talk because the behavior is friendly and non aggressive.

Like they always said, the first impression tells it all.

Be Your Own Investigator

Believe half of what you hear, and all of what you see!

When you're in the process of getting to know someone, you always want to believe that they are being upfront and honest about who they are but let's be real, this is 2016, and most aren't honest. Google and social media are your best friends. I hate to say it but Facebook has told many a peoples truths. Take that phone number that he or she give you and drop it on Facebook search. I've come to find out real names, marital statuses, and a host of other things just from doing this. There's something about giving a person a page with their name at the top that let's them spill all the tea about their lives.

Look Deeper

I know you have all heard the phrase "A pictures worth a thousand words." Well that saying is most definitely true. When you get that snapshot from your potential boo, I would suggest instead of admiring their eyes, breast , print or butt, that you look in the background. Men are infamous for the bathroom pics that have the pink toilet seat covers , women's shower caps, and baby shoes and all sorts of telling things in the background. If you live alone, then what's all of that? I'm just saying, either he lives with his mama or he already has someone.

Ask The Real Questions

I met a guy once who told me that he felt like I was interviewing him, because of the type of questions I asked. Truth be told, yes I am. Dating is an interview process. Over the course of time, but still an interview process. I'm not saying fire out random questions back to back. That shit will scare anybody off. I'm just saying that as you are getting to know a person ask questions that are important to you and that will invoke conversation. Some that I ask are:

Have you ever been to prison? The chances of him/her being employable are slim once they've been incarcerated. It's good to know ahead of time whether the struggle will be real or not.

Are you married or have a significant other? Just because you ask someone if they are married and they say no, does not mean they are single. It just means that they are not married. People love playing word games nowadays.

Are your gay or bisexual? This is the question that few are scared to ask. But this is the main one that needs to be asked. If you want to date a bisexual male or female more power to you but there's trust in knowing ahead of time. Personally I have seen more women marry bisexual men not knowing that just last week he was on JACKED or GRINDR looking for a hookup. Not good!

What do you do for a living? It's not that I want your money. I want to see that you are productive on your own and not looking to live off of me in some form or fashion.

Do you use or sell any kind of drugs? First off, I'm not wanting to be caught with you if you're illegally in possession of drugs. I'm not Bonnie, nor Clyde to be taking anyone's drug charges. And if you are using it then that's a whole other monster in itself.

These are just a few things that I ask. It all depends on what you want in your personal space. On one had it can be fun getting to know someone. The idea of having something in common is a good thing and if nothing ever comes about it then maybe you have made a good friend. But, on the other hand, never throw too much caution to the wind?